20 Years Later and it Still Hurts

20 years ago I lost my belief that those I loved would always be with me.  Of course, I had already lost friends to just fading friendships, or moves, or something along those lines.  I had never attended a funeral, other than one of a camp friend's mom.  That was hard, but I didn't know her.  March 27th, 1994 I lost one of my very best friends.  The worst part, the part that still hurts so much, is that she took her own life.  She jumped off of the Galleria parking lot in our hometown of Dallas.   In the process of doing this she left behind hundreds of people who had to grieve her death.  The day of her death I had just returned to Lawrence where I was attending school.  The phone call came right after I put my suitcase in my room.  It was another high school  friend of ours and of course, I KNEW, she was wrong.  She could not be right, certainly because she was telling my that my silly, loving, devil on my shoulder, laughing friend was gone.  I walked for hours with my friends that evening.  The questions I asked myself that night are ones that never can be answered.  I do not really know why she did it.  I know theories or what was the tipping point, but I do not truly know why.  I know that she is still alive in me everytime I do something that I would not typically do or take a risk.  She is there when I can be carefree and laugh until I think I can not laugh anymore.  She is there when I think of books, ironically A Separate Peace being one of them.  She is there when I kiss my babies and hold them tight wanting to keep them safe and away from pain forever. 

Spring!

Well, it appears that Spring is pretty much here. I say pretty much because we had an ice day about a week ago, so who really knows.  It has been lovely the last few days, so maybe it is legit.  Uncle Brian has been in town.  I am hoping that he has some pictures with the kids because somehow I didn't get any!  The kids had a blast with him.  Matthew loves him and was heartbroken that he isn't y still here. It is kind of sweet, actually. I took advantage of some extra free time and got a major haircut. My hair is crazy thick and was past my shoulders, so there was a scary amount of hair on the ground.  Normally I feel worried getting it cut very short, but I was ready this time.  Meagan got a bunch of fun new hair things like the pink flower you can see below from our friend Elizabeth.  Apparently her daughters don't like bows, but my girly-girls were so thankful!  Grandma Lois bought both girls a ton of clothes from Nordstrom that came in recently.  The dress that Natalie is wearing is going to be her daddy/daughter dance dress when it happens in May.  They got some very stylish clothes.  Meagan and Natalie are used to mainly Old Navy, Target, Justice and Children's Place from me, so they were psyched to get the fancy stuff from Grandma!  Matthew doesn't quite care too much yet, but he was happy with his new slip on Vans we got at the Vans store today! 

The last photo is of Meagan and her friends at the Bob Bullock Museum downtown.  The did the field trip the day before the ice day, thankfully!

Happiness!

Natalie has been superexcited for the past few weeks about the eggs her class has had in an incubator.  Actually, Meagan's class has goose eggs as well, but they haven't hatched yet.  Natalie's baby chicks did hatch the other day.  By some small miracle, just as the kids walked in two hours late (due to ice day #8), the eggs were hatching!  She got to hold a few and watch them walk around.  Happiest kid ever.